itchy!

Feb. 21st, 2010 07:48 pm
keryx: (Default)
If I hadn't just been very sick, this morning would've found me clearing out the garden beds for spring. There's snow on the ground, sure, but the weather is delicious. Spring returns! It doesn't surprise me that so many religions have rituals around this time of rebirth; after a snowbound winter, it really does feel miraculous. And like a surprise, too! Spring in the mid-atlantic comes just when you'd forgotten how to expect it, sneaking in these little tendrils - into February, of all months, keeper of winter olympics and Groundhog Day and snow.

Yeah. This is why I live here and commute to the northeast. Well, this, and you local kids. I love everything, but today I particularly love the itch in my brain that wants to run around barefoot and dig in the dirt as it starts to warm.

I have a new roommate coming soon, another gardener and foodie. Probably a more organized one: hon, are you fastidious about gardening as well as the kitchen? Because I? Am not. But I do love growing food, the spring planting and the summer eating. We might need berry bushes. And chard. And zucchini. And probably more tomatoes, if we need to feed two people. Let's grow things! What do you want to grow?

I'm practically thrumming with the anticipation.
keryx: (Default)
Do you make resolutions or set goals for the year at some point each year? And if so, what do you or the world gain from that process?

I've gone a long time without setting any kind of Gregorian new year resolution. Mostly I think that tradition results in pretty self-absorbed goals, as if there's a standard menu we tend to choose from, you know: "lose x pounds", "run marathon", "quit smoking" and the occasional "give to charity". They're generally about making individuals feel goal-oriented, with some imagined happy future in mind. They turn evil, too, when people but aside the goals they weren't all that passionate about and then berate themselves for "failing".

Not that resolutions can't be broader-reaching, or that they can't mix altruism and feeling good about oneself. The conventional ones, though, really do trend towards me me me me. I feel like they cross a line between a desire for goodness and just overwhelming, grasping desire for the future, for something more, something that once had will just translate into another more.

For awhile, I set goals each year around my birthday, which is frankly the same thing but with less recrimination. Still pretty selfish. Still very imaginary-future-oriented. I'm trying to shift my thinking towards things I want to hold, or pay attention to, without getting all spun up about some projected outcome. Like, give everything to what I'm doing right now (including forgetting to give everything), or seeing people more clearly or more gently.

I'm curious what others do, mostly because you know, you're interesting and I wonder what you think. So, what do you think?
keryx: (carnival)
This thing came up just as I've been thinking about seriousness, so I share it with you: practice the playfulness of the universe.

Specifically...
1) Describe the 5 areas of your personal inquiry that feel the most serious.
2) Describe how each of these areas would change if seen as inherently playful, or as the outcome of the creative play of the absolute, of the non physical spaciousness of existance.


I'm thinking some more about this to answer for myself.
keryx: (i robot)
A TWOP recap of a True Blood episode I haven't yet seen offered me exactly the perspective I needed tonight.

I love this culture. This living in a place and time where people root out the allegory in what could be simple melodramatic entertainment.
keryx: (birthday)
This is absurd to be sad about. I have (had) an old Canon Elph from like 2002. It's exactly the size of my hand. And sure, I suppose it was wildly outdated (getting what at the time was an astonishing 4MP in such a tiny camera). It was a gorgeous little piece of design - I actually once used it to photograph itself, sitting in MOMA's "everyday things" display.

It died about 2 months ago, and when I emailed the Canon people they offered to fix my 6 year old camera for free. Which is totally awesome, and a thing I tried to point out to Panasonic after it took 3 months to get help on my video camera, which they'll now consider repairing for $100 plus shipping. Someone at Panasonic really needs to buy a Canon something and then need service. You don't know you suck until you see how much better someone else can do what you do.

The Canon, though. They didn't fix it! They sent me a Powershot somethingsomething. It's big! And round! Apparently it does more stuff, but the design is unintuitive so I'm unlikely to realize what it does (I don't believe in manuals). It's still very swell of them to take care of it, and blahblahblah not looking a gift camera in the mouth. But I wanted mine!
keryx: (Default)
My self-imposed coaching assignment for this week is to try out a daily spiritual/connectedness/whatever you want to call it practice that works for me. It's shaping into a small, simple collection of physical acts (being on the porch and the air is a big one, as is the pure physical practice of morning warmup), a moving but seated meditation that's sortof offering to the world, and a reading I do each day at the office to connect work to something deeper.

It made me curious, if you'll share: what are your personal practices? What do they mean to you?
keryx: (small)
Tell me a line you like to read, look at, sing, or think about when the ridiculousness of a day of shitty things finally wears off and you just want to cry.
keryx: (glowy ball)
Hey! Apparently I'm painting again [See user icon on this post. My style continues in a primary-school expressionist wanky self-portrait vein, as you'll see. It's the next big thing.].

I haven't painted in at least a year. Or, well... six months if you count the painting of the art that is now my tattoo.

Also, one person in the entire world believes that I can be butch. Which is related to this because I? Am rocking the paint-covered overalls and flannel shirt look tonight. TOTALLY BUTCH. I swear. STOP LAUGHING. I'm tough and arty, dammit.

omg, y'all

Sep. 25th, 2007 09:47 pm
keryx: (carnival)
You kids are the best hug delivery service evah. I feel better already.

keryx: (Default)
I feel like everyone loves me today!

Everywhere I go, there's no line and people are smiling. Work was totally chill (if sadly lacking in Dickensian prose). There was no one in the Taco Bell (hangover food, though I'm not exactly hung over) drive-thru at lunch! In Short Pump! I got into and out of a Lowe's filled with happy people in about 3 minutes. An entire line of people patiently waited for me when I got the wrong thank you card for my colleague and had to go pick out another. I just happened to have cash on hand as I was driving down Broad St by VCU, so I got to stop at Aladdin (which was emitting the yummiest smell ever). They tried to get me to stay, and when I didn't, they gave me free cake.

And, guess what?! To the Earth will be TWO next Monday! We're a toddler.
keryx: (Default)
The possibly positive impact of my current work situation (summarizable as ARGH) and a conversation I had with the SSWB at lunch today have me thinking a lot about what I want to be when I grow up.

And you know what? I don't know. Nor do I even remember what it was like to have a plan, to be a long-term-planning kinda person. This is really odd for me. A lot of you haven't known me since my deeply planful days, but some of you can remember.

So I wonder about y'all.
[Poll #955225]
Bonus question... what do you want to do when you grow up?
keryx: (turtle)
I called The Ex yesterday to wish him happiness with the whole getting married thing. As I hung up I said "I love you" without even thinking about it. And you know, I totally meant it. You know, in the sense that love is a verb and a choice; I want his life to be happy and challenging and full.

This is, for me, the magic of singleness. I don't know if I was too young, too afraid, too dead or what - but I really didn't get this idea of love, especially not in the little ways people change you. And now I'm all adobe car, bumped and reshaped by the people and things that I run into. I probably was before, too - just didn't know enough to be glad of it.

I can't really put into words why I'm still so much more absorbed by the events of Pennsic than by the events of my life here now this week, but it's there somewhere in a sense of love/loved from the soles of my feet to somewhere just beyond my head.
keryx: (Default)
When I was kindof freaking what I called "a less that satistisfying life" (gah, sometimes I still sound like I'm 13) last week... I actually didn't know who to call first.

And this weekend, when I made my spreadsheet and realized oh shit, I really do want to move, I had [livejournal.com profile] cutegaychick to drive me around the city and remind me that I had peeps. Plus, [livejournal.com profile] arovd made me a hotdog with chips on it!

And today, [livejournal.com profile] snidegrrl has posted a series of illuminated mix tape covers by me, ca. 1988.

Awwww. Thanks, kids.

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