rant by request: stupid lj comments

[keryx]

Something I found frustrating on my blog (redpolka.org) until I cut off comments as a result of the infuriating amount of spam I kept getting was the bizarro stupid comments I'd get on posts a year old or more. Like, all the time.

A popular pasttime of some probably twelve year old boys was clearly to google things they thought were funny (fat being an apparent favorite), so I got a lot of ridiculous "I'm so fat I'm stuck in my door and I can't get out" things that are probably the new millenium's Prince Albert in a can jokes. The other popular one was random Virginians kvetching because I made fun of The South about once a year. Strangely they all seemed to fixate on this one post I made reflecting on someone's thesis about regional tendencies towards saying "soda" versus "pop", which some idiots decided was a slur against the region. It's not like I even dislike southerners or southerness (except those fools) - it's just that there are things that are funny about this region that I love.

Anyhow. I don't get those on LJ. I don't get trolls (unless you count my friend chubbyninja's deep desire to offend my feminist sensibilities). Not ever. I even allow anonymous comments so my blogging friends without ljs can post. And I say inflammatory things about fat and shit all the time on feminist.

But no dice. The only people who ever comment on my LJ are friends, and the sad truth is all my friends are actually too smart to make truly stupid comments. Except on the rare occasions when they get in fights and don't listen to each other.

How does one become an LJ figure with enough stature to garner obnoxious and stupid comments, I wonder? I feel so uncool.

Apologies to puzzlement for my less-than-compelling rant. It's a risk you take when you assign me a subject, I suppose.

Comments

[puzzlement.livejournal.com]

I believe there are three paths to LJ notoriety sufficient to attract idiots. The first is 'be jwz'. Moving on from that, we have two choices: comics (I bet iharthdarth gets dumb comments, although probably most just read "lol dude LOL"), and Harry Potter fanfiction. Especially a HP journal in which you occasionally write m/m porn but spend significantly more time flaming other writers. And ask for money from your readers a lot. Of course, that's getting into the realm of having a stupid LJ, but if that's the price for stupid comments, maybe it's a price you need to consider.

[vaspider]

I used to get stupid comments, but I did that by being involved in an online game community basically devoted to being assholes. Unsurprisingly, the assholes turned on me like a pack of starving hyenas.

I don't recommend this route to getting stupid comments.

[fooltheworld.livejournal.com]

A looong time ago I started getting comments from someone telling me I should wean Henry because he was over a year old. I have no idea who it was or why they picked me. I kinda suspect it was a nitwit I used to play online games with.

[chubbyninja.livejournal.com]

hehe... i can make my comments dumber if youd like... i prefer them to be slightly more clever, but it is your journal, so if youd like i could revert back to dick and fart jokes.