I guess I walk a line between when I think my input is wanted and when it's not. I tend to take LJ as a bit of an invitation to criticism and commentary, however, I don't take that too far because I know it's not, really, strictly that. I'm not one of these "you put your stuff out on the internet so you had better expect to get harassed" people.
In face to face interpersonal relationships, though, I am often not willing to harsh on someone's groove when there is no indication that my input is wanted. When we are talking about personal choice, I often fear confrontation, and worry that the way I put things will sound like a personal judgement or insult rather than discussing the implications of someone's actions. Also, I want people to like me. Really badly. In fact, I am having a ridiculous panic that no one will come to my New Year's party because they have finally decided I am a) not a responsible enough activist or b) that raging bitch who is always criticising eevryone's actions.
Often enough, I feel like people already know what I'm going to say before I say it. Conversations will happen like this:
Friend: "Oh, I know how Kim feels about this, but ohmigod did you see that movie?" Kim: "..."
In that case I figure, they don't want me to tell them how vile I think whatever cultural thinger is they are about to talk about is.
I almost always speak up about feministy stuff if I specifically think that someone hasn't thought about the implications of what they are saying/doing. But most people I know kind of have. I have a friend who has said on numerous occasions she wants to get a boob job. This is a person who created a community mocking feminism. I don't need to explain to them my thoughts on the issue; they've already thought about it and rejected the criticisms. There's nothing to say there.
Re: if you're still interested by this conversation...
In face to face interpersonal relationships, though, I am often not willing to harsh on someone's groove when there is no indication that my input is wanted. When we are talking about personal choice, I often fear confrontation, and worry that the way I put things will sound like a personal judgement or insult rather than discussing the implications of someone's actions. Also, I want people to like me. Really badly. In fact, I am having a ridiculous panic that no one will come to my New Year's party because they have finally decided I am a) not a responsible enough activist or b) that raging bitch who is always criticising eevryone's actions.
Often enough, I feel like people already know what I'm going to say before I say it. Conversations will happen like this:
Friend: "Oh, I know how Kim feels about this, but ohmigod did you see that movie?"
Kim: "..."
In that case I figure, they don't want me to tell them how vile I think whatever cultural thinger is they are about to talk about is.
I almost always speak up about feministy stuff if I specifically think that someone hasn't thought about the implications of what they are saying/doing. But most people I know kind of have. I have a friend who has said on numerous occasions she wants to get a boob job. This is a person who created a community mocking feminism. I don't need to explain to them my thoughts on the issue; they've already thought about it and rejected the criticisms. There's nothing to say there.