keryx | rant by request: clothing

This is

cavlec's rant. She told me to talk about clothing.

So let's talk about pants. I know I've said before that I hate trying to find pants, but I continue to not get why like no one on the planet can figure out how to make a pair of pants to fit me. And anytime I get into a discussion with other women about clothing fit, this one comes up more than any other.

It's the waist-hip differential, isn't it? That must be why women's pants suck so immensely. Pants are designed around the idea of suspenders, and modified for the use of belts - but on men, whose butts are usually similar in size to their waists. I can only wear pants if I get them super-tight in the butt or much too loose in the waist and force them to cling just above my ass with a belt. And pants for young women? Designed currently with the low-waist thing that means my big bootay is hanging out. Pants for les fat ladies? Waist up to my freaking eyebrows.

There's a really simple solution to the whole pants-fitting problem, too: the draw-string or wrap waist. Just make a variety of pants, including dress pants and jeans and whatever, in styles that can flex a bit to accomodate shape. Of course, then you'd have to make it acceptable to wear pants that tied with a suit jacket - but why not?

It would be a hell of a lot better than the usual stretch thing that the stupid Lane Bryant does with my dress pants. Stretch has its place, mind you, but when it involves a pair of pants, especially the usual LB belt-hating pant, which is about half way down my ass about half way through the workday. And I just don't think "my clothes are falling off me" is going to catch on as the latest in workplace hipster any day soon.

Also, the words for "pants": "trousers", "slacks", etc., they all sound kinda rude and icky. I don't like to say these words. Someone else pointed this out to me years ago, and I haven't been able to forget it.

Also also... I think most everyone has already heard of it, but

fatshionistas is the bomb and a fun place to talk about just such things, but in a meaningful way.

I could just wear skirts all the time, but sometimes it's cold, and tights and socks just don't cut it. So I put up with crap-fitting pants. What crap-fitting clothing item do you hate most? Share. I like the sharing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's the waist-hip differential

Worse! Waist-hip-length. Pants change in one respect only: they get thin or wide. Not only do they not get "bigger hips, same size waist" variations, they definitely don't get "bigger hips, same size waist, oh, and another four inches longer please" variations.

Skirts? They get a bit short on me too :(

Oddly, they do that in petites. I'd like a lower waist-crotch length, please. but noooooo... it's the same pants, but shorter, and narrower in the butt. It's weird that even things that are supposed to have height variation built into them aren't actually structured for the ways real bodies vary in height.

I hate em too. There is always something about them that is not right... Yoga pants;) That is the key.

Oooh, crap fitting pants get me, too. My waist is 30 inches, and my hips are 44. Add a 33 inch inseam, and you've got trouble, because clothing designers assume that if you have big hips, you must be built like a basketball player. Every pair of pants I buy needs to be worn with heels, or hemmed. Argh.

I agree with you on the stretch pants thing, too. If the material is good quality, I like having the stretch. However, the spandex in cheap pairs wears out too quickly and then they do that plumber's-butt thing.

I have a thing against pencil skirts, too. If they aren't cut right, they pull across the hips and then ride up until the waist rests under my bustline. Tugging at the hem all day isn't exactly attractive.

Ditto that pencil skirt thing. You ever seen Mode Merr's pencil skirts? They are truly pencilly and clearly play-clothes-only, but they actually use stretch fabric in a good way.

I've been wearing black yoga pants under straight knit-fabric ankle length skirts. Warmer than pants.

My hip to waist ratio is weird. 36 inches waist to 43 inch hips. With the waist that big, the pants sag on me. With the hips right, I can't close the pants. Guys pants are too baggy through the leg. And my 30 inch inseam? Forget it!

Oh, I hate cap sleeves. Hello football player shoulders!

Ooooh... sleeves, yet another thing that gets me steamed! Why do fatgrrrl clothes always have such weird sleeves? I just need them wider, not longer and boxier and all the other weird things they do.

Although cap sleeves, cause my shoulders are narrow, usually just look short on me, not capped or footbally. Ironically.

i wonder if spymomma feels the same way re: pants, hence she only started wearing them within the past few years.

wearing skirts hinders me physically. if i am trying to jump over something, i could get constricted or tangled. they can ride up. sans tights, the thighs rub... there are just so many, many disadvantages to skirts.

there are lots of problems finding pants that fit well, but skirts are just impractical for me.

I guess you and I move very differently, because I have pants get in my way more often than skirts. I feel like in a comfortable skirt (probly an oxymoron in your mind ;)) I could kick someone's ass if needed, but an awkward pair of pants will inhibit my kicking and running away.

It's still much too cold to wear skirts without like 10 layers of socks right now anyhow, though.

funny you should mention that, because i wore a skirt with just knee socks to work the other day, and people were freaking out, like, "your knees! agh!" and man, i gotta admit, that was a dumb idea.

i have a few long (straight) linen skirts from old navy i really like, i admit. they at least had enough give that i could climb over the baby gate we use for the dog in the office, but it still was kind of awkward.

It's funny; I hate pants the most too, but for the opposite reasons--I don't have an hourglass so the waist is always too small and the butt and hip area are always too big for me. And I'm short-waisted too. I thanked the gods when low-rise jeans came to the plus-size market because at last, jeans seemed to fit my butt. I don't really get the plumber-butt problem at all. :)

I'm with you on the weird stretch, though--if I wear a pair of LB pants more than twice without washing it, it's sag city.

http://www.torrid.com/store/product.asp?LS=0&ITEM=530735

These are the BEST PANTS EVER. I have a giant ass and a tiny waist and long legs...I wear 14-Tall in these, and they fit my ass and legs like a dream. I wear them low-slung, with a belt, but when I sit down they don't show my thong.

These pants are totally made for us curvy tall girls...try them out and see. I've bought 4 pairs so far...I wear them out and just buy them again!

xoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxo

I'd be so pissed if they didn't totally rule for 44 bucks!!! I bet they are cool.

I hope the longer version is much different than the capri. :) They were so comfy in the store, but those pants were the plumberbutty bane of my existence last spring. The capris at least are the annoying cotton stretch that doesn't snap back, so they can't handle basic tasks like walking and sitting for more than a couple of hours. I have a dress made out of the same fabric that I absolutely loooove, but it just didn't translate into pants well.

Geez, I don't know. I've never tried on the capris.

But I LIVE in the pants, and I totally LOVE them. They do run really big, however, so you may want to buy one size down from what you usually wear, unless you like to sag your pants, ghetto-style. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Remember in the '80s the Chick jeans that were supposed to have 27 sizes so that everyone could fit them? Those were the worst fitting jeans I've ever worn! I still remember the damned jingle.

Girls: "Hey, doctor Chick."
Guy: "Chick measures you in the waistline."
Girls: "You need Chick."
Guy: "Chick compliments your hips."
Girls: "With 27 sizes."
Guy: "Class dismissed."
Girls: "Chick's the world's best fit."

Damnit, useless knowledge.

Anywhoo, I like wearing slacks instead of skirts. First of all, I never wear nylons. I always have some sort of yeast infection whenever I wear them, so because of my larger inner thighs I end up getting a rubbing rash that hurts for days (I only remember this because I decided to wear a skirt to work last Wednesday after it being a year since I put one on). I usually end up going to Target and buying their cheap pants with the elastic in them. I like them. They're comfortable and when not worn with a work blouse they can be casual too.

And I hear ya about the Lane Bryant "pants." My husband bought me some with a blouse for X-Mas about 4 years ago and they HAD to go back. It looked like I was wearing Depends with them (or belonged on an elderly lady).

Yeah, there are just too many variables... and then they make women's pants in single-number sizes rather than even giving us waist and inseam measurements like in men's! I especially hate jeans, myself. That crotch seam just adds to the hell when they don't fit right.

I second or third the endorsement of yoga pants, and/or leggings under skirts. That's the vast majority of my wardrobe.

rant by request: clothing

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Pants Suck

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