I am perplexed by people who say tattoos don't hurt that much. Unless you live with pain every day, making your scale different, I think tattoos hurt. A lot.

I now have three in different spots, and each has hurt in varying ways to varying degrees. And. Absolutely never something I would describe as a "tingle" or a "pinprick". More like a "touching a searing hot stove at unusual angles" or "a needle puncturing your skin over an over at an extremely fast rate". Each time the process starts, I make a mental note to myself (apparently in very light pencil) that this is stupid and I never plan to do it again.

The only nice things about tattoo pain are its extreme localization and the way it gets you a little contemplative after the first half hour or so. But that's the first half hour of really very noticeable pain, and it's not like it goes away when you meditate. It just gets endurable. A few hours later when the euphoria wears off, my whole body starts to complain that I've stuck it with needles a lot, and could we maybe take a nap...

You? If you have tattoos (or if you just feel like speculating or throwing off the curve), tell me: did yours hurt? How about after?
[Poll #1378247]

I am, sometimes, more like a character in a chick-lit novel that I'd care to admit. Because, as cutegaychick said yesterday, my crises?* Are really amusing.

I told you all about the video camera, right? That my dad gave me one for xmas? Well, in addition to recording video of my family and friends for some future date of schmoopiness, I caught some footage of me walking from behind (footage courtesy of mom). And I really didn't like the view of my ass from behind. NOT BECAUSE I AM A GIANT FATTY. I mean, yes, I am a giant fatty [I am SO going to go rename the "fat" tag "giant fatty" when this post is done.]. And, okay, maybe right after coming home from being mommed, I might have been thinking just possibly that being a giant fatty was a Very Bad Thing. HOWEVER, the problem was not the size of my ass but the aesthetic displeasure I experienced watching it move.

So I wondered if my problem could be the non-turned-out walk I trained for a couple of years ago. I used to walk, and stand, and probably sleep, with a distinct turnout (at the hips, like everyone learns in ballet class). It's not good for speed, and it's theoretically not good for my hips (although I think the new walk may have unintentionally contributed to calf and foot issues). But it is, I think, more pleasing to look at. I know because I? Did SEVERAL video takes this morning of different walks, arm and head positions. From multiple angles! I'd show you the videos, but on this point, dearest, loveliest LJ, you do not get a vote.

I wasn't just looking for something I found more attractive (though that was without a doubt the main catalyst), but also checking out this thing with my head. Around the same time as the walk retraining thing, I discovered that I'd been sticking my chin & head out and up for ages, and have since been correcting by constantly tilting my head down. Over time, though, I'd learned to keep my head in a perfectly fine neutral position, and when I installed more mirrors in my bedroom [for DANCING, kids. Don't get all excited.], I could see that I actually look down when I mean to have my head neutral. I've overcorrected. I've also been doing something weird and awkward with my arms. And all this fantastic body knowledge thanks to what could've been one of those old-school "OMG I am so FAT, I need a DIET" episodes.

My crises?* Are AWESOME.

* This is not, in fact, an example of a crisis in the sense of a Great Big Problem; it's just a thing I thought a lot about.

Which I absolutely do not want. Must be on plane in two days!

I have taken not one, but two, massive overdoses of vitamin C, rescheduled all today's work activities, acquired tissues, juice & soup and am now in bed waiting for some nyquil-like-substance to take hold.

[Er, also it's possible that some of penchant for angst the past few days is actually me misinterpreting my unconscious mind (aka my body) telling me to go to bed. Stupid vague nervous system!]

Pomegranate flowers are gorgeous!

About halfway through the belly pomegranate, I started to visualize tattoo number two: simple swirls of leaves, bitty fruits and flowers horizontally below & sorta bearing up the fruit already there (and thank $DEITY not on my ribcage) eventually swooping around to something on my back (that'd be tattoo number three, yet to be defined).

At the time, I had no idea what pomegranate flowers actually look like (hey, I was still one up on my tattoo artist, who had never seen the inside of a pomegranate). Now that I know - the white/red shaded ones particularly with the purple and green already in number one? Yummy.

My throat hurts. I was totally fine, and then went from hey, my throat feels funny to aieeee, the pain in like four hours yesterday.

I must be getting old or soft or something, too, because I am totally happy that my sick didn't catch me until after the Mom'sbirfday trip to simple life porn to buy quilts and eat German food this weekend. And possibly more put out about missing work than missing my hipster Sunday night plans. I hope everyone else had a blast, though.

The yupster playground by my parents, where we took the dogs yesterday, has a miniature rock climing wall and this awesome gymthing that looks like a tensegrity structure. Mom thinks other grownups don't play enough, but it seems like most everyone I know plays all the time.

Maybe I'm just cool like that. But probably not.

I don't care if I can't use a toy hula hoop to save my life (and possibly am therefore no good at hooping in general) and most hooping people are on the other side of an imaginary dirty hippie line from me, I want this Hawai'ian print badass hula hoop [bottom of the page].

But I'm trying not to buy anything I don't absolutely need for now. There's really no definition of need that includes hula hoops.

A followup, based on the predominance of people saying they remove hair solely based on "personal aesthetics" in my hair poll.

[Poll #412789]

Explain the logic of your answer in comments, if you'd be so kind.

I've had this bitter nasty mean asswipe of a cold for the past few days. I'm just now getting my zip back. In tiny little installments, like royalties for songs played once a day in small island nations.

Yeah, so now that this cold has shat upon the plans I had for this week, it's time for a nap.