the enemy

Something that really pisses me off: the idea that thinner women are the enemy. And referring to one size of women as "real", implying another is not. It's a common mistake of fat activists and feminists.

I mean, there is a problem with promoting any one idea of beautiful as the be-all/end-all, as that idea will inevitably be unattainable for most, and it's just stupid to think that all humans are attracted to the same thing (and of course assumes being "attractive" should be anyone's goal). Yes, women whose body types happen to fit whatever the fashion is contribute to things like diet fixation and the valuation of women by appearance and sexual availability when they participate in any industry that emphasises those things [Perhaps they should get notes: Dear {insert name here}, please stop your involvement with movies/beauty cream/diets/etc., you are hurting America. Felt you should know. But then, I suspect most of us contribute to those things in small ways; we should all get notes and ideally all choose to follow their instructions.]. But they are no less real, and generalizations about real/not real create more stupid delineations between women. Like we needed that.

I've talked to a couple of women recently who are clearly more in the average sized category - that is, not fat like me, but fatter than the images of women you see in the mainstream media. And I think it may actually be harder for them in some ways, dealing with the whole "am I fat? does being fat make me bad? would I be happier/healthier/better if I were thinner?" thing. Cause my very presence automatically answers those questions for me. I still look at photos and think Omigod, I'm the fattest bellydancer ever, but a) there's a chance it's actually true and not image distortion on my part and b) I'm frequently the fattest person in a group. So? The fact of my fatness forces me - and has done for awhile - to confront the other valuations attached to "fat" in a way that wouldn't happen if I were smaller.

I still don't get why so many people around me insist that I'm not fat, except that they think I'm trying to insult myself. Which would make it pretty offensive to insist someone isn't fat who is - it's like saying you think their real self is eeevil, but you like them as long as you can agree to ignore their fatness.

Does anyone remember the "Please don't feed the models" poster from About-Face a few years back? Cause now a bunch of companies are marketing 'Please don't feed the models' tees without the commentary ('stop starvation imagery') from About-Face. Is it an oblique reference to that campaign, or is it akin to promoting a starvation aesthetic in the vein of the pro-ana community? Is the t-shirt wearer the model or is the wearer positioned as anti-model (or "real", which we've already established bothers me)? Is it another way of making thin the enemy or is it saying thin is to be coveted (and are those kinda the same?)?

My brain hurts. I'm glad trinityva clarified for me what the ragers were responding to, cause I just saw the slogan as a reference to About-Face and didn't see how it could be sending a really really horrid message to girls. Which pisses me off, if that slogan is in fact being inverted to be all "ironic" and disempowering.