keryx | Entries tagged with 50 first dates

Here's an interesting thing: this project may be making me fearless with people.

I'm way more comfortable than I once was with introducing myself to strangers. I'm blunt to an extreme. But. I often don't continue a conversation that sounds like it might go somewhere fun. The cooler you seem, the less likely I am to be able to talk to you.

This seems to be changing. In the past week, I've had a couple of intriguing first conversations with people and then asked them to talk to me more. I had these little moocards made with my email (they say ___ of 50 on the back, which is possibly a mistake now that I realize how handy they are for just continuing a conversation) and I've been giving them out.

( I don't believe I should count these as 41 and 40, but I'm learning something here. So. It certainly counts for something. )

My partner in girliness,

diechotomy, thinks that I will eventually want to fold or pause the datey project because someone will turn long term. As much fun as I'm having, I kindof hope so... I'm getting tired.
( This week's dates )

I promised myself awhile ago that I would go do karaoke cause it also scared me, and since then I've come across two dedicated karaoke-ers in this project. I believe that may be a sign.

Speaking of karaoke. Here's a lesson that work people had already taught me, but which bears repeating: people are astounding and interesting when you find the right thing to ask them. I'm a little bit in love with every person I've been out on a date with (maybe the same way I'm in love with the multifunction copy/print/scan/fax devices at the office). Being one on one with people is compelling. Knowing 40-some more are coming at some point in the future makes it less frightening, too, in a weird way. So it's just unbelievably fun to spend time with these awesome people.

I've picked up some logistical learning. Like. I can ask maybe 2 people in a week or two, so I don't have to wait weeks to go out with one of them again if I want to.

And I am tired. I also have obligations and excitement with work and friends over the next couple of weeks, so you may not get another juicy update until next month.

By they way - how about you kids? Has anyone else picked up the flag of dating projects? What are you learning? Dates, if you're reading, would you like to say anything?

Did you know it was possible to be dumped after a single date?

Yes. I think you heard me right. Dumped after a first date. The first of my dates to go quite well shifted direction after the fact, thanks to stuff that isn't mine to tell. I think, in a way, I even got a "Dear John" [Or Jane? Are there "Dear Jane" letters? I assume so.] letter out of it. My first ever.

It sure took me by surprise.

A spectacular surprise.

Wow. I was hurt and angry - cause hi, that's the usual reaction, I think - for about 5 minutes. Maybe 10. Ow. It was hilarious for another 20. Then I sat down to write a response, and what came out was... Understanding. And affection. And a profound sense of wonder at possibilities and the connections that form between people. It's like my best self sat up and wrote for me.

That? Is exactly what this project is for. It's about fear, and as it turns out, it's about love. Just not one and only one kind.

This may sound silly in the morning. It will still be true.

For some reason, I started counting my dates backwards, as the number of dates remaining rather than labeling each person with a number. It's weird, and I like it.

( But you want to hear about the dates. I know. )

I thought I'd be able to ask a lot more people a lot faster, but going out with people takes more emotional energy than I remembered. I need breaks! But it's time to start another round of asking.

I haven't said much about the results of my asking-50-people-out thing in a bit, have I?

So. I've been writing a little. Here's some of it.
( Where it came from. )

( I made up my own rules. )

Next post I'll tell you more about the first handful of people I asked.

Regarding my previous posts - I'm now at 45 to go. One rejection, ~~two yesses, and two yet to respond~~ make that three yesses, all seriously awesome people, and one yet to respond.

It's. Well, it turns out to be fun, this bizarre little project. Just the asking! We're not even to the spending time with awesome people part yet!

I've made a commitment to attempt to ask 50 people out on first dates. It's part of learning to have fun with the whole dating idea. Anyone tried speed dating locally? Is it worth the expense for the experience?

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
		1	2	3	4	5
6	7	8	9	10	11	12
13	14	15	16	17	18	19
20	21	22	23	24	25	26
27	28	29	30

those who were seen dancing

a semi-datey project update

weekly datey project status

and the real learning starts...

dates 49-44

catching you up on the dating thingamabob

45!

now, technically, 48.

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September 2020

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