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weekend insight
Jul. 31st, 2005 08:56 pmRather than post a long list of all the things I did this weekend (cause whew, it would be long indeed), here's what I've learned in the past few days.
There's nothing quite like belonging to an artistic community that extends far beyond your knowledge and geography. I feel like there's this potential to get from dance what I always wanted from theatre - a way of seeing and creating connection between people and ideas. That might be hard to imagine if you're not a dancer yourself, the notion of bellydance being about ideas. I'll explain it later.
I seriously need to work on picking up cues from people who can actually dance. And my arms. And my feet. And reworking some of the movements in more biomechanically efficient ways. And I'm going to have to go to San Francisco. [Oh, wait... I am going to San Francisco, in like 2 days.] And I really really don't like fusion dance based on stereotypes of other cultures, a la Ruth St. Denis.
It took me actually having a rocking good time at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snidegrrl's [HAPPY BIRTHDAY!] on Saturday to make me realise that there's been a black filter over my sense of fun for a long time. The great semi-secret microtragedy of my life: I haven't had fun at a party that wasn't at my house since like 1997. Not that the ex is a killjoy. But I admired his control over his emotions and consequently felt that anything I expressed was wrong, including joy and a lot of the silly, loud, out-there-ness that I like so much. And yes, if my 20-year-old self hadn't been so terrified of people's feelings, I would have recognized oppressive self-control long ago as a problem and not a trait to be sought. Oops.
You know what this means, right? It means that my partnership wasn't just broken for a few months? Nope, we spent fully 8 years founded on - well, basically mutual emotional stupidity (and you know, shared culture, braininess and actual affection for each other). On the other hand, I can't really fault him just for figuring it out first.
Particularly considering the good it's doing me. Like a light switch got flipped in me this weekend. Do I seem different? I feel different.
I feel better, too. That's the good part.
There's nothing quite like belonging to an artistic community that extends far beyond your knowledge and geography. I feel like there's this potential to get from dance what I always wanted from theatre - a way of seeing and creating connection between people and ideas. That might be hard to imagine if you're not a dancer yourself, the notion of bellydance being about ideas. I'll explain it later.
I seriously need to work on picking up cues from people who can actually dance. And my arms. And my feet. And reworking some of the movements in more biomechanically efficient ways. And I'm going to have to go to San Francisco. [Oh, wait... I am going to San Francisco, in like 2 days.] And I really really don't like fusion dance based on stereotypes of other cultures, a la Ruth St. Denis.
It took me actually having a rocking good time at
snidegrrl's [HAPPY BIRTHDAY!] on Saturday to make me realise that there's been a black filter over my sense of fun for a long time. The great semi-secret microtragedy of my life: I haven't had fun at a party that wasn't at my house since like 1997. Not that the ex is a killjoy. But I admired his control over his emotions and consequently felt that anything I expressed was wrong, including joy and a lot of the silly, loud, out-there-ness that I like so much. And yes, if my 20-year-old self hadn't been so terrified of people's feelings, I would have recognized oppressive self-control long ago as a problem and not a trait to be sought. Oops. You know what this means, right? It means that my partnership wasn't just broken for a few months? Nope, we spent fully 8 years founded on - well, basically mutual emotional stupidity (and you know, shared culture, braininess and actual affection for each other). On the other hand, I can't really fault him just for figuring it out first.
Particularly considering the good it's doing me. Like a light switch got flipped in me this weekend. Do I seem different? I feel different.
I feel better, too. That's the good part.