wls is so 2002

Stupid Everwood has a random subplot in which a tow-headed child is really really really worried that his dad's sciatica is going to kill him dead. Cause OMG DAD IS FAT!

And all stupid doctor totally goes along with this stupid idea, instead of just pointing out to the kid that sciatica? Is debilitating, but not-death-inducing almost all the time. As opposed to WLS, which is both debilitating for many and death-inducing for some! And then Dad is all "eff you" but it turns out that the courageous doc finally gets through to him and Dad reveals he's really just scared of failing at life's most important project... losing weight. Argh! Worst teevee parenting and doctoring EVAH.

There was a song that someone sang in middle school chorus to the tune of Psalite (or Singkt und Klingkt, I think) that would've been a more appropriate response to poor tow-headed child (because really, tow-headed children think things like OMG gramma has MENOPAUSE, it's gonna kill her - they don't get easily what's just sick and what's death-inducing):

Dad is fat
Dad is very fat
oh how big and fat he is
Dad is fat
and he looks like Santa Claus
like Santa, Dad is big and fat

It goes on with harmonies and stuff that could be updated to point out that Dad is in fact just fat and slightly infirm, and not dying.

All the adults on Everwood (season 1, circa 2002-3) are herewith fired by me for spoiling my enjoyment of my birthday box of angst.