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[personal profile] keryx
I'm starting to feel like my harp practice is just a thing I do, like the dance and CST stuff. I think this is a good sign. But. I've also been feeling disconnected from practice in general, so I'm going to start keeping a practice log of everything. It'll be public but cut, so this is the last you have to read about it.

I've started working towards my Intu-flow (joint mobility) teacher certification. This morning I went through the "master" level video; I haven't been doing the videos, just using bits of the prior three levels, but we did long Intu-flow segments in our practice group over the past couple of weeks - and the cloverleafs finally make a sort of sense. [If you want to try a cloverleaf at home, think of it as this: take your hips to the front, then right, then left, then back to front & directly back; from back, go left, right, then to back & return to front, starting again. You do it with pretty much everything, from head down.] Today I could easily follow the video, which was never the case before - shockingly, coaching helps: I? Am beginning to grok cloverleafs.

I imagined myself to be really stiff after a few days of relative inactivity (my abdominal muscles wimped out after a coupla days of practice group and then dance practice), but I also did the advanced four corner balance drill, sorta. I nearly fell on my ass trying to take my right leg back.

Now fully awake, I stopped the laying about and teevee watching to spend an hour or so on harpness. I think the baby harp has settled into a relatively tuned state - it went flat less than a half step in the two days since I last tuned it, yay! I don't remember ever getting music enough ten (or 15, or 20) years ago to be as playful as I try to be now. My fingers still won't do what I want. And sometimes if I'm trying to work from written music, it clearly registers in my brain and then my fingers, sometimes just fingers, and others - well, it just doesn't register at all. I want a faster way to make my hands coordinate.

And since I was getting so into practice in general, I popped in the FCBD Vol 7 video again. I completely lost whatever grasp I had on the single bump half turns, but traded it in for fleeting moments of brilliance on the smelly dog, the barrel turn, the Sununda & all the various forms of left-center-right-center turning movements.

You know what? I miss sucking together. Does that make sense? When the tribe started, and for some months after, we stumbled through things and made decisions that weren't ATS - or even recognizably anything but pulled out of our asses - and it worked. It felt like every frustration was generative. Something like that. I like training for technique, but the analysis can essentially suck out the soul of your ass. I miss "we can't get it right? fuck right, how about this?" And the funny thing is, the more I watch Carolena, the more I realize again that's kinda how she dances, too, even though it's not how she talks about dancing.

I'm going to go do my anti-dance flow now to chill out all the muscles I worked, and if I feel eager (since I'll be on the mat anyhow), I might even do a few circuits of grow-a-spine. I'll let you know if I do.

And I did. High RPT, technique felt really good (like an 8-9), and low discomfort (2ish), but high RPE (also like an 8-9). I think I'm tired out. Done for the day. Kaput. Zonked.
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September 2020

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