is there a rulebook somewhere?

[keryx]

The replying to comments on LJ confounds me sometimes. Some of the people I read seem to respond to every single comment, which seems really sweet and polite. But when I do that, I feel like I'm always trying to have the last word, whether I have a real response or not.

I think that comes from blogging (I had a blog or other less community-oriented journal online for ages before I succumbed to the LJ phenomenon). There are people who read my blog constantly and never ever comment. And some comment just to say "yay". I reply when it sparks something other than "yay back at ya", and that seems to be what most bloggers do. Replying to a blog comment, even on a threaded comment blog, usually means sending both an email and posting on your site.

What do you do? Do you answer every comment? Do you feel snubbed if your comments aren't answered by the LJ user you posted to? Are you miffed at me right now because I didn't answer a comment you posted on my LJ?

Comments

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

I sometimes get miffed, but only when it's appropriate. I am more miffed when I consistently respond to someone's LJ posts, and they NEVER respod to mine. Sometimes I have to check myself on the last word thing, but I haven't noticed it as a problem.

Really, I don't see too many "yay"s as a bad thing, I think that's the crux of it. I do frequently worry that someone is secretly miffed at me for not answering something, but I view it was a slightly transitory thing and if I don't have time to answer, I just don't. *shrug* and I try not to take every little thing too seriously, and hope others feel the same way.

Some people get... I dunno, more from me. People I've known longer, people who are closer to me.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Hmm. So how do you feel about this conversation?

personX: post post post blah blah blah
personY: yes! right on! semi-related point Q...

Is person X obligated to respond, particularly in the absence of point Q (i.e. the comment is basically, "yay! indeed!")? If person X feels inspired to respond (regardless of obligation) to point Q, is person Y then expected to respond back with a "right on!" or is it bad form to clutter person X's journal with relatively meaningless, if supportive, commentary?

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

I subscribe to a "more the merrier" combined with "don't get offended" theory. That particular exchange could have stopped from post 1, or could have gone on to post 10, it just depends on the particular sentiments and time constraints of the people involved. Is there a point that's too much? If there is, I don't know it.

Erm... so if I were person X, and I posted the respones to point Q, I would neither be worried that another answer would clutter my journal, nor would I be upset that person Y didn't respond if they didn't. It would have to take a pretty passionate dialogue for me to demand another answer.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I should have prefaced all of this by stating that I am a big dork who wants to view all these kinds of communication issues in terms of systems and rules sometimes, shouldn't I?

I just want there to be some sort of unwritten rules that dictate when a conversation is officially played out. Like is this one? Is this conversation over? Am I just talking because you talked? Am I just navel-gazing at this point? ARGH. :D

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

So make some rules, and follow them! That's basically what I do... of course, yeah, not everyone is going to follow the same rules. I think if you're asking that, then you're out of luck.

Now, let's see if you answer THIS one!! haha! I'm so mean.

Sometimes I will specificallly say, "there is no need to answer this".

Another one that gets me:

LJ User X: post, i'm engaged, or someother life change that seems to demand acknowledgement.

LJ User A-Q: yay! congrats! etc!

Does LJ User X need to respond to each one? I say no. But does someone else feel a different way?

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I think it was watrfae who recently had an anniversary and went through and said "thank you" to each "congrats!" post. While unnecessary, I think it was kinda sweet. It was sharing the love.

So, my unstated rule is basically, I will reply to any comment that strikes me in some way, but not to every comment ever. Also, I will never be offended by people not responding to my comments or posts, as I'm used to people reading my blog and never saying a word.