a semi-datey project update
Jan. 25th, 2009 11:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
keryxHere's an interesting thing: this project may be making me fearless with people.
I'm way more comfortable than I once was with introducing myself to strangers. I'm blunt to an extreme. But. I often don't continue a conversation that sounds like it might go somewhere fun. The cooler you seem, the less likely I am to be able to talk to you.
This seems to be changing. In the past week, I've had a couple of intriguing first conversations with people and then asked them to talk to me more. I had these little moocards made with my email (they say ___ of 50 on the back, which is possibly a mistake now that I realize how handy they are for just continuing a conversation) and I've been giving them out.
Lesson 1: The guy who helped me buy my kitchen table was strange and clever. We got started talking about Virginia and internet politics, and I was disappointed when we finally had the table loaded. So I handed him a card with a photo of the part of Hawai'i that looks like Goochland. He hasn't emailed or anything, but it was a revelation in the moment: I! Can create an opening to continue this! I wasn't even a tiny bit anxious.
Lesson 2: A big adorable boy at the bar who was funny last time I saw him & sweetly kept me company when I was still feeling out of sorts coming off Monster Shower 2009. We were talking about how he'd never seen live bellydance, and I thought - ha, I'm performing on Tuesday with a bunch of other people; he might enjoy that. So I gave him a card & invited him.
I guess that second one could count, but I'm seeing a need to be very clear with people that I intend to ask them on a date, not just for hangouts. Is it the first connection that matters most? Or the date? With someone I've just met, how sure do I need to be that I'm attracted to them? I'm not sure. In any case, I still don't have time to take anyone on a date for a couple of weeks, but I can invite people to join in things I'm already doing.
I'm way more comfortable than I once was with introducing myself to strangers. I'm blunt to an extreme. But. I often don't continue a conversation that sounds like it might go somewhere fun. The cooler you seem, the less likely I am to be able to talk to you.
This seems to be changing. In the past week, I've had a couple of intriguing first conversations with people and then asked them to talk to me more. I had these little moocards made with my email (they say ___ of 50 on the back, which is possibly a mistake now that I realize how handy they are for just continuing a conversation) and I've been giving them out.
Lesson 1: The guy who helped me buy my kitchen table was strange and clever. We got started talking about Virginia and internet politics, and I was disappointed when we finally had the table loaded. So I handed him a card with a photo of the part of Hawai'i that looks like Goochland. He hasn't emailed or anything, but it was a revelation in the moment: I! Can create an opening to continue this! I wasn't even a tiny bit anxious.
Lesson 2: A big adorable boy at the bar who was funny last time I saw him & sweetly kept me company when I was still feeling out of sorts coming off Monster Shower 2009. We were talking about how he'd never seen live bellydance, and I thought - ha, I'm performing on Tuesday with a bunch of other people; he might enjoy that. So I gave him a card & invited him.
I guess that second one could count, but I'm seeing a need to be very clear with people that I intend to ask them on a date, not just for hangouts. Is it the first connection that matters most? Or the date? With someone I've just met, how sure do I need to be that I'm attracted to them? I'm not sure. In any case, I still don't have time to take anyone on a date for a couple of weeks, but I can invite people to join in things I'm already doing.