because it's really not a moovie if i haven't seen it...

[keryx]

In some sort debauched feast of action flicks that are really a Metaphor for Life and Its Lessons, we saw not only Revenge of the Sith but also Kingdom of Heaven last weekend.


The latter is really mostly worth watching for the I recognize that voice, I swear... who is that captivating actor playing that masked leprotic king? effect of Edward Norton's performance, which is now blown for you because I just told you it was he, My New Boyfriend. The movie lacked the pathos of Gladiator, whilst telling basically the same story, and was at best flirtatious with the religious issues it brought up [To sum up: Christians and Muslims should luuurve each other. Also Jews.]. The whole second half revolved around everyone else being stupid and unable to see alternatives when Orlando The Unhot gets all predictably conscience-having about being offered kingship apres My New Boyfriend's equally predictable bucket-kicking. It's hard to keep watching a movie when everyone's just being a dumbass. Unless, I guess, you think he's actually Orlando The Hot - in which case, nyah, you can't get in... because you're 14.

SW:ROTS was mostly a rocking good time, particularly if you have seen ROTJ recently. It so delightfully parallels Jedi, even down to similarly godawful acting and overwrought love scenes. And while most everyone does, in fact, spend a lot of time being a dumbass, it's all okay because that's what's supposed to happen in order to bring balance to the Force. I mean, I expect you have to already be a Star Wars fan to enjoy it, but if you are, it fulfills on the "but these movies are leading up to something" promise of the previous two. Obi Wan junior gets to be all badassy in a way that recalls/foretells the One True Obi Wan, the emperor is eeevil and nicely evocative of George W, Anakin is the moody prat his son will grow up to be (proving the nature over nurture theory, perhaps?).

The one truly bad aspect of the movie is that Padme is a big sit on her butt whiner pretty much the whole time, presumably because she's pregnant. Cause, you know, women can't even politically maneuver when they're expecting. Stupid.

Also, don't take a small child to either of these movies. Really, leper-faced dude? Frying legless dude? Didn't need to see that.

Comments

[soft-pieces.livejournal.com]

Cut in case you're just absolutely nutso about spoilers, as really - who didn't know exactly what would happen in either of these movies?

Don't ruin The Crusades for me. I'm waiting to see, for myself, how they end. ;D

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Sure you don't want the Cliffs Notes version? You know, some people take over some "holy sites", a bunch of people die, it's very hot, other people take back the "holy sites", more people die, did I mention it's very hot?, the whole thing repeats...

[soft-pieces.livejournal.com]

Now it's ruined. ;D

(When I worked at a record store, years ago, someone was purchasing the Titanic soundtrack and talking about how excited they were to be seeing the movie, that night. I said, totally not expecting this to be evil, 'You know the boat sinks, at the end. Right?' and the person looked totally dejected. Somehow, Titanic was ruined for them after 80 years of tuning out the collective unconcious.)

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

It's good to have you back. :)