stupid entitlement.

[keryx]

One tiny comment among recent events reminded me of just how much entitlement everyone tolerates on a daily basis.

People (generally men) get heated up when a fat person (generally a woman) sits next to them on an airplane. They get so excited that they feel obliged to write articles about it if they're news columnists, or to fire off online if they're bloggers. Sure, some of the pissed off people are women, and some of the offending fat folk are men, but the overwhelming majority seem to be men complaining about women occupying space.

Lucky me, I got a chance to experience something like this in a number of crowded metro cars and airplanes in the past few weeks. Based on a handful of experiences, it seems like a woman won't sit down next to you in the metro if you're toting large bags. But I had a couple of guys not only insist I move bags (acceptable in a crowd), but then proceed to do the yo-boy super-wide-leg position that gradually forces the other seat occupant further and further into a tiny corner. Not okay. Not polite. And a subtle indication that you believe you're entitled to the space currently occupied by a woman's body.

I had an interesting experience of this sitting between two middle-aged men on an airplane. Both of them went straight for the armrests, and they kept spreading out and touching me, apparently not noticing this at all. Eventually, I tired of holding my book up with the sheer force of my shoulders whilst trying to shrink as much as possible. Then I realize. I'm not spilling over into their seats here; they're spilling over into mine. So I tucked my elbows behind both of theirs, claiming a spot on the armrests. Now I'm touching them, which they notice, and we all share the armrests and comment jovially on the cramped quarters of air travel. They're not trying to be asshats; they just really didn't consider my position in space to be important until they were forced to notice it. Which is not dissimilar from the guys who get pissed off because a fat woman's ass might touch them in an airplane - like that woman isn't supposed to have claim to her own space, let alone to a little bit of some man's That sentence sounded absurd, didn't it? But the angry anti-fat dudes say pretty much that.

It's hard for me to not see this as a gendered thing, as indicative that the female body isn't considered all that different from empty space, or that we're supposed to make room for men. Not that it's all men, all the time, but the idea that a certain level of space invasion is acceptable and to be expected - if it's coming from a man to a woman only - is a problem. *

* There's an exception to this, which is those situations when everyone just accepts that they have no personal space - those of y'all outside the US can probably relate to that more.

Comments

[cyprinella]

That spread leg thing on the metro? Drives me batshit. Most of the time I just push back/hold my ground in my seat. Usually they get the point or move seats. So far, none have made me reach the point where I say what's in my head, "Honey, your balls ain't that big. Move the fuck over."

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Yep. But it shouldn't have to be a conflict - a woman is already there, ergo the man can't put his leg there, period.

[cyprinella]

Point.

I get the same thing from women sometimes, though. Like, she doesn't want to be too close to teh window, so she's sitting part way onto the aisle seat and when I sit down, I get pinched between her and the stupid armrest. Ow. Mostly, I just think people are rude.

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

so so so sooooooooooooooooooooo true!

[rackletang.livejournal.com]

This is so true. I've taken to just claiming my space, and letting others adjust to that. Fuck 'em. I'm sick of feeling like I'm taking up too much space. Sick to death of it.

[firecat]

Not that it's all men, all the time, but the idea that a certain level of space invasion is acceptable and to be expected - if it's coming from a man to a woman only - is a problem.

Yeah - how would they would behave if they were sitting next to each other?

Also, have you noticed how this plays out on sidewalks? I sometimes make a point of not yielding on the sidewalk to men (I don't try to take up the whole thing, just the part of it that I actually occupy). It's hard for me because the shrinking into myself thing is so ingrained.