i have been changed for good

I called The Ex yesterday to wish him happiness with the whole getting married thing. As I hung up I said "I love you" without even thinking about it. And you know, I totally meant it. You know, in the sense that love is a verb and a choice; I want his life to be happy and challenging and full.

This is, for me, the magic of singleness. I don't know if I was too young, too afraid, too dead or what - but I really didn't get this idea of love, especially not in the little ways people change you. And now I'm all adobe car, bumped and reshaped by the people and things that I run into. I probably was before, too - just didn't know enough to be glad of it.

I can't really put into words why I'm still so much more absorbed by the events of Pennsic than by the events of my life here now this week, but it's there somewhere in a sense of love/loved from the soles of my feet to somewhere just beyond my head.

i posted this on tribe...

But for those of y'all here and not there:
If I must come back off my enormous week-long cloud... I'm glad I got to come back to our awesome students.

I did everything I could tonight to kick their happy dancing asses, and they persisted in their awesomeness whatever was thrown their way. I had no idea when we started teaching how much they'd give back or how much I could miss them.