bad body days

[keryx]

For the rest of this month, I am going to get up and walk out of any room in which the conversation turns to how much anyone "has to" lose weight, diet, or keep themselves from eating X (well, unless they're like diabetic). I'm not going to confront it or explain it; I'm just taking my marbles and going home.

Why? I have enough other things going on that lead me to doubt whether I'm smart or good, and I just don't seem to be able to defend my minority opinion against people who actually don't even realize they're having this conversation. My parents and their neighbors did that at my dad's 50th yesterday, and it was like the 3rd time it had happened in a week. Plus, I gained 8 lbs since - I don't know, whenever I last weighed myself? For some reason right now I'm just not my usual invulnerable self, to the point where I was thinking... You know what, fine. You're right. I'm so fat I should be dead. I'll go on a diet, too. It'll be awesome. I'll talk about nothing else, and you can all enjoy the vast boringness.

But as that seems like the sort of thing a petulant, self-injurious and vindictive child might do, I had the good sense to come up with another idea... avoidance! *grin*

Comments

[divinerose.livejournal.com]

you'd be proud of me...i was talking to a friend who started talking about weight and stuff, and i suppose how she was "needing" to lose some weight. I basically told her to shut up and eat more, because she was too skinny. She knows my persuasion and attraction to women, so when I told her that I found her body type totally unattractive, it actually stopped her mid sentence.

For the record...I'm quite happy you are alive and I think you are smoking hot and I quite like your body. Not that I have looked or anything. ... Just saying.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I really admire the good care you take of your own emotional health.

[hope-persists.livejournal.com]

word word word.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I have a hard time thinking of it as taking care of myself and not being cowardly. But thanks, I'll try to reframe it your way - I look much better in that light.

[steamedwords.livejournal.com]

Did you just indicate that you see yourself as "being cowardly"? Have you met you lately? You are one brave little toaster.

We all have to pick our battles. I can't speak for anyone else, but If I didn't, I know I'd be doing nothing but fighting; morning noon, and night.

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

emotional health is key.

((hugs))

I want this on a t-shirt.

[hq447.livejournal.com]

"I'm so fat I should be dead."

What kind of reactions do you think I'd get?

Re: I want this on a t-shirt.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I want to think that people would respond to it positively like "hey, so am I!" (cause isn't half the population "obese"?). But I'm sure you'd get asshats, too. It'd be interesting.

Re: I want this on a t-shirt.

[hq447.livejournal.com]

Well, it's weird - i think it would take the asshats thunder. Like when I wear my "no fat chicks" shirt, no one's really sure what to say.

Re: I want this on a t-shirt.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Wait, you have a no fat chicks shirt? I WANT ONE!

Re: I want this on a t-shirt.

[hq447.livejournal.com]

It is the shirt in the icon. It is one of my favorite shirts! and then i got another one for xmas, which I am altering into a tank top.

[chubbyninja.livejournal.com]

i think you should just get really good at throwing sewing needles... like wise learned ninja good... so that any time someone says something about weight loss (except me, of course) you can flick one into their thigh and go "hey! let's change the subject, k?" Theyd be trained within a month.
i still think pain is one of the best training tools around (again except for on me.)

[keryx.livejournal.com]

You know, I think I'll need a human subject to practice on. You're not too busy next week at Pennsic, are ya?

Fuck all the haters, baby.

[volondoinyaface.livejournal.com]

My thirteens, back at SUUSI, were all OMG I'm going to get SOOO FAAATTT if I EEEEEAAATTT when we were at the Dairy Queen. I said, I think I need to gain some weight. I've got a half gallon of coffee ice cream and a quart of Mocha Fudge back at the dorms, so I guess I don't need to buy any more.

They were stunned silent for about thirty seconds (and that is saying some shit, think of 10 13yearold girls and think of a golden 30 second lull...beautiful). And then one of them said, That is a really healthy attitude.

Score! Pat yourself on the back for that moment, April. Without you around, I probably wouldn't have said that (let's both hope I still would've thought it, but you should go ahead and hug yourself for me just in case). You bring awesome to the table, baby. It takes all kinds...but when they start boring themselves and realize you leave whenever this shit comes up, taking all the interesting conversation with you, maybe they'll start thinking harder without you having to say anything at all.

I hope this made the point I wanted it to. I'm pretty tired. But, I love you.

Re: Fuck all the haters, baby.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's a sweet story, boo. Yay for you! I don't take any of the credit for that - you figured that out for yourself.

I don't imagine that me simply withdrawing from conversation will have any effect but to make people think I am even more histrionic than they already believe. But right now, I am so beyond caring.

[sarahmichigan.livejournal.com]

I just don't seem to be able to defend my minority opinion against people who actually don't even realize they're having this conversation.

I get tired of defending myself or even just explaining why I don't want to have the conversation, too.

Good luck.

[cutegaychick.livejournal.com]

Iwilleatnotsmoke
Iwilleatnotsmoke
Iwilleatnotsmoke
Iwilleatnotsmoke
ARRGGGHHHHHHHH!!

[keryx.livejournal.com]

What??

[cutegaychick.livejournal.com]

Better to eat and gain weight than to smoke. I know this. It's just hard to keep from thinking "hey, if just I have a few cigarettes, the hunger pains will go away."

[keryx.livejournal.com]

You could always eschew both in favor of bounding around the lawn Tigger-style.

Then you'd have to eat more - bounding requires major energy.

[cutegaychick.livejournal.com]

*whine*
Yeah but it's hot out there. *whine* I'm tiredddd *whine* I don't want to get up. *whine*