a seemingly little thing that really really bothers me

[keryx]

Use of the verb "to stalk" to mean "follow in a cute and fun way" instead of "be a creepy predator".

I've seen it a million billion times lately, and this has got to stop. It's one of those cases where yes, the standing definition can refer to a number of different things, but it's also a very specific, mostly gendered, crime, and one that gets trivialized enough as is. If you wouldn't say a hurricane "raped" Florida, than you shouldn't talk about "stalking" Colin Firth.

That's all. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Comments

[peregrin8.livejournal.com]

Hmm, interesting point. I used it jokingly b/c I tend to fear that my version of "following in a cute and fun way" might be interpreted by the celebrity in question as a creepy level of attention. Is that still trivializing? I cannot imagine being a famous person who has fans peering at them when they're trying to do their thing, so it makes me uncomfortable when I feel like I'm being a creepy fangirl (although I promise I am not hiding under Andy Goldsworthy's bed and saving his hair clippings).

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I don't know for sure. I've generally eschewed fangirl behaviors that aren't within an "approved" context (like, at a signing, or a show or something), precisely because I'm not sure what's creepy from the recipient's perspective.

But the line drawn on stalking legally is usually an explicit or implied threat, isn't it? So that's the context in which I'm comfortable using the word. I confess that I've diluted it to "quasi-stalking" at times, which could also be trivializing.

[peregrin8.livejournal.com]

... not sure what's creepy from the recipient's perspective.

[nodding] exactly, though no doubt part of the gendered aspect of the word comes from the fact that the exact same behavior can be cute vs. threatening if the sexes are reversed.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Well, yeah. Cause there's kind of an implied threat in hetero relations sometimes in the first place (which is obviously screwed up).

[peregrin8.livejournal.com]

Very screwed up! And I think it's something that many men Do Not Get. Which is one reason there are so many inappropriate jokes about stalking and so on.

[rackletang.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I use this often, and you're probably right. We'll see if I can taper off. I am a fan of dramatic hyperbole, though. So it's hard sometimes. :|

[grrangela.livejournal.com]

I'm guilty too, for the same reason. I have a love of the grandiose. I'll try to wean off "stalking" though.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Ditto what I said to rackletang. And thanks. :)

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I feel your pain. I have a similar resistance to "lame", in that I have a fondness for 80s-kitsch-slang where you go in for hyperbole. But I fight it. ;)

[fierceawakening.livejournal.com]

Icon love.

And of course, you're right.

[catchstars.livejournal.com]

I remember being confused, because I actually read a newspaper article saying that the Florida coast was raped by hurricanes. I mean, aren't there less drastic (and more gender-friendly) words to use? Attacked, destroyed, demolished? Rape seemed overly dramatic and insulting.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

They actually printed that? UGGGGGH. The news media has also been the greatest perpetrator of the stalking-trivialization thing, too. What is with this, I wonder?

[catchstars.livejournal.com]

The stalking-trivialization thing is biggest in magazines for teen girls. I keep seeing articles where they talk about which celebrities are 'stalk-worthy' or they will ask most male interviewees how they feel about being 'stalked' by young girls. I wonder how most of these people who use that word would feel if they actually had been stalked. (I'm personally pretty careful about my use of that word regarding humans, but I do use it to describe the actions of animals, like a pet cat stalking a mouse.)

[libskrat]

I can't say I use the word terribly often. (I just did a search on CavLec for it, to check my own perceptions.) Like catchstars, I'll use it of animals; I will also use it to describe a particular stiff kind of gait inspired by annoyance ("he stalked off").

Maybe this has to do with a few close calls in my life and that of my husband, things that didn't escalate to stalking but might have. Maybe it's just that using the word to refer to non-creepy fandom behaviors just seems, well, creepy.