dates 49-44

[keryx]

For some reason, I started counting my dates backwards, as the number of dates remaining rather than labeling each person with a number. It's weird, and I like it.

I told my coach I wasn't ready to leap into the wilderness of asking out complete strangers, but would try a couple of people I already knew.

49. One of my dance peeps is a hottie and a smarty who I'd really like to get to know better, and I asked him to let me tag along to his karaoke thing awhile back but never actually did it. So. Dinner and karaoke. He said yes, though it was hard to schedule (and then I was sick! CURSES!).

48. I keep running into this guy at the gym, who I apparently have a crush on despite his conventional prettiness. I tossed out an invite for dinner while we were chatting. He said no. I had a nice workout. The rejection wasn't as devastating as I'd expected. It was much easier to deal with than the profoundly embarassing dorkiness of asking.

Both of these invites made me anxious enough that I just sorta mumbled out the question in the most casual tone I could muster, waited for an answer... and ran like hell. So scary.

47. This is totally cheating, but my lovely not-girlfriend wanted to be counted on the list. So I took her out for New Year's Eve. Of course I did want to spend the time with her, but I didn't technically ask, and it didn't make me at all nervous. We had fun.

46. An old friend of my ex moved to town nearly a year ago. I got his email address from another friend & invited him to a party at my place. The party was fun, and we caught up a little, without a lot of sparks of any kind. This was a wildly successful invitation, though; he and another guest connected like whoa, so I feel like this date bettered the world in a way. Dating is about connection, yes?

I started to think of this process as research. I'll take the risk of meeting these potentially awesome new people, and maybe connect them to people and things they'll like.

45. Facebook. Oh, Facebook, how I love you. I found this guy I'd had a little crush on from college and sent him a message explaining the whole 50-dates thing. Getting a yes response to that totally transparent question was well worth the time delay of asking electronically. It left me happy and optimistic for days.

We met up for DC touristy stuff and ended up spending 8 hours together. It was a good date. We're planning a second.

44. I've been flirting with this guy at work - who I do in fact work with, so I'm not sure the 100% transparent approach is a good idea. So, I ask him to lunch. Except, it turns out, I went a little too subtle and he didn't get it. Which means - $DEITY - I think I need to try again.

I thought I'd be able to ask a lot more people a lot faster, but going out with people takes more emotional energy than I remembered. I need breaks! But it's time to start another round of asking.

Comments

[petite-tadpole.livejournal.com]

46, 45, 46?

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Oh, copy & paste error.

[belladonnalin.livejournal.com]

This is just ... awesome.

I'm SO SCARED of asking people out on dates. I can't IMAGINE doing 50.

But maybe I should do, like. 5?

[belladonnalin.livejournal.com]

Which is not to rip off your idea in any way except that it sounds scary and challenging and thus probably a good idea!

And, by that I mean: WAY TO GO YOU, DAMN.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

Well, part of my commitment to take it further and scarier was to share this, maybe in a tiny way make the world a nicer place where dating is concerned. Stealing it and making it yours would further that sharing. I support it!

[keryx.livejournal.com]

5 is not that bad, once you get past the first 2.

[doktor-jess.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've ever asked anyone out on a date, because saying "hey do you wanna hang out" doesn't count. I'm really very shy when I like someone, I've been told it's cute, but frankly I just find it terrifying.

Well done you for overcoming your fear and asking out all these people, I'm totally impressed.

[snidegrrl.livejournal.com]

This is all very cool!

[keryx.livejournal.com]

You'll appreciate this: I just ordered moocards that say # ___ of 50 on the back. So I have an easy way of giving relative strangers my number.

[arovd.livejournal.com]

hey, a dinner party at your place with other people doesn't count as a date. it's not a date without the awful awkward sitting across the table alone with a near complete stranger, trying painfully to make small talk.
cheater!

[keryx.livejournal.com]

You are missing the point entirely. :P

[firecat]

There was this one year when I dated 15 people. (Not all at once.) I barely survived it. And you're doing 50? Wow.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I'm TRYING to ask 50. Some of them will say no.

But it's daunting.

[queerbychoice.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure whether it's in spite of or because of my near-total lack of any dating experience at all, but I'm finding all this surprisingly interesting. If I were single, I think I'd even be wishing I could follow your lead. But I can't imagine ever actually succeeding at asking even 5 people on dates in a single year, so I guess it's a good thing I'm not available to do so.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

It depends on what you consider success, I think. I would've counted only acceptance as success in the past, but since my task is simply to ask, even a rejection can be celebrated. That makes me fear it less, making the whole process more exploratory and much less frightening.