weekly datey project status

[keryx]

My partner in girliness, diechotomy, thinks that I will eventually want to fold or pause the datey project because someone will turn long term. As much fun as I'm having, I kindof hope so... I'm getting tired.

43. One of you lovely LJ peeps introduced me to an adorable librarian. We had sushi & saw a movie last night. It was fun, and I hope I can talk her into future activities. I know movies are supposed to be bad dates, but I enjoy getting absorbed in something while sitting next to someone cool. Further proof that dating advice? Is bad. Don't listen to it! Have a good time instead.

42. Another friend introduced me to this dude on Facebook. He looks entertaining, but is like 25 and not interested. I'm still going to count this because it did in fact take some work, even if neither of us was into the other.

I also went on dates with people I'd asked earlier - one I'm not really talking about (not that it was bad - exactly the opposite - but not everyone is cool with being blogged about) and one delightfully adversarial lunch with someone whose politics are very very very different from mine.

Also, I'm quickly becoming good friends with boy who dumped me. Ha! I like this dating as a way to expand into the world thing.


I promised myself awhile ago that I would go do karaoke cause it also scared me, and since then I've come across two dedicated karaoke-ers in this project. I believe that may be a sign.

Speaking of karaoke. Here's a lesson that work people had already taught me, but which bears repeating: people are astounding and interesting when you find the right thing to ask them. I'm a little bit in love with every person I've been out on a date with (maybe the same way I'm in love with the multifunction copy/print/scan/fax devices at the office). Being one on one with people is compelling. Knowing 40-some more are coming at some point in the future makes it less frightening, too, in a weird way. So it's just unbelievably fun to spend time with these awesome people.

I've picked up some logistical learning. Like. I can ask maybe 2 people in a week or two, so I don't have to wait weeks to go out with one of them again if I want to.

And I am tired. I also have obligations and excitement with work and friends over the next couple of weeks, so you may not get another juicy update until next month.

By they way - how about you kids? Has anyone else picked up the flag of dating projects? What are you learning? Dates, if you're reading, would you like to say anything?

Comments

[quietdeath.livejournal.com]

"and one delightfully adversarial lunch"
I usually enjoy such things myself as long as both people know how to debate fairly and leave the table at the end with mutual respect.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I enjoy these debates when they're entered into in a spirit of fun and humor, which this one was.

[rikhei.livejournal.com]

I'm feeling motivated by you. I had a big think last night about my tendency to obsess over crushes that, honestly, I don't really know that well. I decided I don't really fear that the crush will not be interested in me - I fear losing the fantasy of that person. So, I've decide to face my fear. I just e-mailed a guy I've been crushing on for about 8 months and told him I have a bit of a crush on him.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

That is very exciting!

You know, the first person to reject me out of all my invites so far was someone I'd had a painful crush on for months. If I'd just asked when it started, the answer might've been different or I could've skipped all that useless fantasizing. It's one thing to CHOOSE the fantasy, if that's what you want, but what I did was wasting my energy.

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

It all depends. It's still possible that the fantasy/crush (however painful) was what was what you needed at the time.

I went through a lot of this two years ago; I've always had to wrestle with the fact that for whatever reason, people do not ask me out. The obvious rejection issues are compounded by the fact that I at times am acutely sensitive to other people's emotions, which means I *know* when they are attracted to me. Nothing like getting flat-out turned down by someone you *know* is into you.

I had some flirtations and crushes, one of which was abruptly ended by the mere act of me asking them out (as far as I can tell he was just old enough to be weirded out by my forthrightness), another friend deciding "it wouldn't be right", a few craigslist postings (lots of crap responses but I found a fun date for a while), and then someone awesome just landed in my lap. Life is an adventure, even the painful bits.

[firecat]

I've been noodling about making a goal of asking some people out to lunch, not as a date but as a way of getting to spend more time with people I appreciate.

I have so many projects already that it might take a while to percolate to the top (including never) but I am glad that you inspired the notion.

[keryx.livejournal.com]

I think that's very cool. That's the thing I'm really learning from this work, anyhow - it's not the dating so much as the connection with and appreciation of people.