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keryxOne of the lists I belong to is DTMWSIB, which is essentially a size acceptance group with a focus on fashion. There is, however, a fair amount of self-congratulatory supportive posting going on at any time (basically, the "you go, girl!" think). It's generally sweet and positive and friendly and I can't really fault it, even if it talks a lot about boys and modelling and beauty - part of size acceptance is being able to see yourself as beautiful, which often means conventional means of gaining appearance-based approval.
However. Today I read this in one of the posts:
"Eventually a guy will come along and make you feel so unbelievably beautiful...and by then, hopefully you'll know yourself that you are."
I think my boyfriend can attest to the fact that it's virtually impossible for someone else's attraction to you to make you believe yourself attractive. But that is not the source of my annoyance. My annoyance is that, once again, the size acceptance folk are showing that fat isn't actually a feminist issue. That is, you are assumed to be content with your size if and when a man loves you for and/or despite it. Sure, you might get there before you feel the love of a good man, but he'll cement it for you.
Ew. Part of my issue is the tone, too. Eh.
Maybe what I inferred from that clip isn't what was intended. And hey, I know that this particular group is diverse enough to include some people who just Do Not Think The Way I Do - I've talk about that before, actually. But it still disppoints me that all the things I believe are so closely aligned aren't connected in others' minds, too.
[cross-posted to blog after it got edited to be all long and stuff]
However. Today I read this in one of the posts:
"Eventually a guy will come along and make you feel so unbelievably beautiful...and by then, hopefully you'll know yourself that you are."
I think my boyfriend can attest to the fact that it's virtually impossible for someone else's attraction to you to make you believe yourself attractive. But that is not the source of my annoyance. My annoyance is that, once again, the size acceptance folk are showing that fat isn't actually a feminist issue. That is, you are assumed to be content with your size if and when a man loves you for and/or despite it. Sure, you might get there before you feel the love of a good man, but he'll cement it for you.
Ew. Part of my issue is the tone, too. Eh.
Maybe what I inferred from that clip isn't what was intended. And hey, I know that this particular group is diverse enough to include some people who just Do Not Think The Way I Do - I've talk about that before, actually. But it still disppoints me that all the things I believe are so closely aligned aren't connected in others' minds, too.
[cross-posted to blog after it got edited to be all long and stuff]
Re:
Date: 2004-01-29 11:48 am (UTC)Question about context -- was the person to whom the clippee was replying bemoaning lack of a heterosexual attachment? If so, then the clip becomes a little more understandable. If not, ew ew ew ew ew.
I've been having the opposite problem lately. Gals I depend on to be reliably feminist are all going on diets. Sigh.
Re:
Date: 2004-01-29 12:04 pm (UTC)