keryx: (slipper)
[personal profile] keryx
I like you, gentle readers. I like that nearly everyone on my friends list actively questions their own thoughts and actions in terms of the culture vs. our ideals.

Today the Wilderness Office Park is much less icy, but still not safe for shoes of any heel or slippyness. So I wore my light sneakery shoes and carried in a pair of heels. I tried to wear casual shoes yesterday (it is casual dress week, after all) and felt awkward and unprofessional all day.

So today I'm wearing heels and jeans, which is about as casual as I'm okay with for work.

How did I come to think that sneakers weren't work shoes (even for jeans days)? How did I come to not feel fully dressed without my feet at an odd angle to the ground (even if it strangely benefits my knees)?

I'm pretty sure it's not strictly a matter of personal choice. I'm not sure this is a habit worth breaking, but I loathe that I can't trace all my seeming "choices" back to root causes of some sort.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 04:50 pm (UTC)
libskrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] libskrat
I suppose you couldn't suddenly grow to be 5'9"?

Because it's funny to watch gender norms clash when you're that tall. You're supposed to wear heels, but you're not supposed to be taller than random guys you meet, so...

I gave up the heels a long time ago. My "professional" shoes are clunky flats of one sort or another (currently these, more or less), chiefly distinguished by how they don't hurt my women's-size-11 feet.

And anybody who has a problem with my footwear? Can so bite me.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 05:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
ooh, those are cute shoes!

I know, we're supposed to be talking about socialization and norms and all that. But (e-speaking as a woman who wears Doc Martens to the office because I like footwear I can walk in) I think those flats are most excellent! (And certainly *one* of the reasons women wear varied and oft-impractical shoes is aesthetics, shared with other women...)

aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Yes, absolutely. A lot of what started as male-gaze-edification is maintained as fashion and aesthetics. My last work team, for instance, was almost all women, all of whom shared the shoe thing - so anytime you came in with new shoes of a certain style, it was almost like what happens when a parent brings a baby into the office.

The part that's pure aesthetics and community-identification isn't a bad thing; it's just the other parts that are eeky.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
Yes, that's what I was being too inarticulate to quite get at! :-)

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:35 pm (UTC)
libskrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] libskrat
Beg to disagree, speaking as one who doesn't participate. The fashion-aesthetics thing can become as much of a straitjacket as the male-gaze thing.

Sexism isn't always something men do to women. Sometimes it's the expectations women hold of themselves and each other. Not that I have to tell anybody here that, of course.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
I think the problem comes when the community-identification becomes a form of forced conformity, as in the assumption that all women SHOULD wear heels (or substitute any "should" of your choosing).

It doesn't have to be that; the shared-aesthetics thing doesn't have to constrict.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:48 pm (UTC)
libskrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] libskrat
No, you're right, it doesn't, but there's an inclusion-exclusion thing to consider also.

Not that (being childfree) I'm any stranger to being excluded from groups of women. But this has IME been one more thing that has set me apart, sometimes when I didn't really want to be. Even when nobody would ever have suggested that I go out and buy fashionable shoes, or get myself knocked up.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 06:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snidegrrl.livejournal.com
I am totally with you on this one. But then, I have never worked anywhere where shoes were an issue. Acutally, when I was in customer support, my male coworker showed me his grip-fast 20 hole boots and I ran right out and got some of those.

What really stops me is the "angle to the ground" issue. I don't see how I can ever accept an aesthetic that causes me to be more vulnerable and possibly mis-shape my own feet. (My grandmother's feet were ultimately bent permanently into high-heel shape and could never wear flat shoes again. This makes me slightly biased, having seen this firsthand.)

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Really? Wow, I've never seen that happen - owwwwww!! Though I will say that the clunky platform heel thing did wonders for me after a knee injury (sustained while wearing flat shoes). But my idea of an attractive heeled shoe and your grandmother's are probably quite different.

Still. It bothers me to think that I'm contributing to an ideal that damages people's feet, even if I'm not personally injured by it. I'm not sure what I'm prepared to do about it, though.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 07:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] snidegrrl.livejournal.com
I don't know if she had chronic pain b/c of the bent foot thing or not. She wasn't one to talk about it. I will note that she worked in retail and sales and real estate much of her life. She was always on her feet. Maybe it wouldn't happen to someone in a sedentary profession. BUT STILL. We do lots of things that ain't natural in the name of aesthetics, but this one is just so danged sexist I can't abide it. (Hypocrite alert: I do own several pairs of heels. I wear them to weddings.)

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 07:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
My dad's wife used to feel physically more comfortable in heels b/c that's what she always wore to work (as a schoolteacher). She had the highest arches I'd ever seen. But she is retired now and has happily made the transition to bare feet... I should check out her arches and see if they have gotten lower.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
She probably didn't have chronic pain, because the body adapts by halting pain signals and keeping tension in weird places. But ow, from the perspective of not being able to change shoes or walk barefoot or whatever.

And ditto what you said on the sexism front.

Though I will on principle argue the statement that walking at an angle is unnatural - done barefoot, it's actually pretty fast to run on your toes.

Re: running on your toes

Date: 2004-12-21 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
But the whole body is at a different angle when running, as opposed to standing or walking.

It interests me that you find wearing heels more comfortable for your knees -- they tend to make one arch the back more, which I personally find uncomfortable for my lower back, but I never pondered the effect on the knees.

Re: running on your toes

Date: 2004-12-21 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Valid point - running is a very different thing, as is dancing and... well, most other things you do on your toes. And being in heels isn't exactly the same as on the balls of your feet anyhow.

The knee thing is that a solid, platformy heel gave me foot support while engaging my knees, so it built my tendons and muscles back up after a major dislocation. The platform sole, combined with ages of dancery training, also tends to push your weight evenly on your feet, so less back arch. I find it more comfortable for short bursts of walking, but hellacious for standing still.

Re: running on your toes

Date: 2004-12-21 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
That makes sense. I definitely find chunky, platformy heels more comfortable than the spindly kind... I am honestly stunned when I see women wearing spike heels to commute to work. They must have *way* better balance than I!

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 07:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] swartzdk.livejournal.com
Both of your Grandmothers had the same problem Seems that 50 or 50 years of heels permenantly shortens the tendons in your legs. My mother even had to have high heeled (wedge) slippers.

Re: aesthetics...

Date: 2004-12-21 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
You mean that people wanted to stick a bottle in the shoes because it's interrupting work?


</ childfree rant>

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 06:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Those are cute shoes. And there are plenty of other people who wear shoes like that in my office - and not just for casual days. Which means that my shoe fixation isn't even remotely about office convention, btw.

The tall thing for women is a very interesting standard. Models are tall and wear heels. But while that may be presented as an ideal... not so much if you dwarf a man, huh?

Speaking of height, part of my thing may have been going from a tall middle schooler to a short adult (I'm 5'1"); going from having a certain height and sense of bigness to everyone else being bigger was pretty weird.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 06:39 pm (UTC)
libskrat: (Default)
From: [personal profile] libskrat
*shrug* I don't know what a "cute shoe" is, I guess. Because I think of these shoes as pretty darn ugly. Especially in size 11.

I do have opinions about attractiveness in shoes. Very dated ones, I fear; I haven't seen a genuinely attractive women's dress shoe in shoe-store windows for years, seems like, and a lot of stuff that I see (dress shoes and other shoes) is just, yuck. So whatever's driving my shoe aesthetic, it ain't fashion.

And shoe aesthetics lost out an awfully long time ago to blister, corn, and bunion avoidance. Life as a size 11. And yes, I hate shoe shopping with a wild passion. :)

Come to think of it, anyone who disapproves of my choice of footwear can -- come shoe-shopping with me, see just how bad it really is!

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] peregrin8.livejournal.com
Considering that I am currently wearing these with a dress, I am probably not someone whose tastes should be taken too seriously.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 06:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
I would totally wear those with a skirt, albeit not at work, if only they came big enough for my calves.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
Those are awesome! I just wish I wasn't so preppy-looking (and that my boss didn't have his stick shoved so high up his ass) so that I could pull those off.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 09:41 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 06:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
So, what is an attractive shoe, by your definition? Cause I think your shoes are cute in a wholesome, functional way.

I can guess how crappy shoe shopping would be for you just by the sizes in most stores - clearly, a 10 is considered the absolute max by someone in the shoe design & sales chain. It's roughly the equivalent of me trying to find a pair of well-fitted pants, except badly fitted pants won't actually injure me.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
I LOVE those shoes! If I wouldn't get fired for them (our dress code specifically says no sandals) I'd wear them every day - especially since I'm in freaking Houston.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 07:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Personally, I feel more comfortable in jeans and sneakers. At least I can deal with people being assholes to me in my own clothes.



And I like you too...which is why I'm glad you friended me also :)

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 07:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Heee! Your icon is so appropriate to this discussion.

It's interesting you mentioned the "your own clothes" distinction, because I tend to think of one set of clothes as a work costume and the other as a play costume - but neither one as my "natural state" or whatever. Hmmm.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
Ah, yes. The foot-tired Santa Claus which will be replaced by some sort of New Year's icon and soon to be replaced by my kitty again.

Hmmm. Would you say that you're a comfortable nudist? I tried that lifestyle for a short while and wasn't comfortable with myself being nude although I didn't care if others were. I guess that's why I feel so close to my clothes. I'm just not comfortable with my own nudity.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 09:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] keryx.livejournal.com
Hmm. I'm neither completely comfortable nor completely uncomfortable naked. I was an artist's model in college for awhile and was fine posing naked, but I often feel weird moving around and doing stuff without clothes on. How's THAT for a vague answer, huh?

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-21 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lil-ms-drama.livejournal.com
It's not vague at all. I can completely understand. I can sleep in my bed naked and play around on my home computer naked too, but once it comes to doing the dishes or making breakfast I need to have clothes on.

(no subject)

Date: 2004-12-22 02:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tartedelune.livejournal.com
I like hanging out in my bra/underwear best of all. It's comfortable (as long as it isn't cold) and I don't feel completely exposed. Being topless is also good.

I find the more time I spend wearing relatively little clothing - and with other underdressed/naked friends - the better I feel about my body. It is one of my favorite parts about having grown up in a predominantly female household.

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