keryx: (tummy)
If this year's internet New Year propaganda bears fruit, it may be the greatest year of fatness, ever.

No one I know has been talking up their diet plans on Facebook. ReVolutions not Resolutions is all happy and inspiring. PDA Nation is video-mad about it.

Some people will be FATTING IT UP ALL OVER.

Aaaaand fattivists have hopped on the blogger teleconference bandwagon with Body Love Revolution. I am seriously sick of invitations to teleconferences, but this one I will make a special exception for.

Finally! If you're in the UK (or just like to talk in a posh accent), Endangered Species Women is kicking off their Ditching Dieting campaign this month, too.

I'm serious, y'all. 2012. The year fattivism wins.
keryx: (kills fascists)
This is a pretty cool thing Twitter can do: Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith) can embarrass Southwest Airlines much more publicly than the average person. They apparently kicked him off a plane for being inconveniently fat. Maybe.

There's a longer post on Shapely Prose about both Smith's experience and the longstanding asshattery of a couple of airlines (at least one other airline, United, does the same) when it comes to fat folk. Nevermind the right or wrongness of the occasional two-seat purchase policy: it's the occasional that really sucks. It's an inconsistently and unfairly applied policy.

Look, I don't know why airlines have such a hard time achieving profitability. I don't know what's reasonable to expect so that they can continue to fly and pay people who make that happen. But it does seem like air travel has become more and more uncomfortable over time - not for me, or even for just fat people, but for people as a whole. The discussion around this particular issue always seems to include so much blame for other humans, rather than the compassion and empathy that is arguably our natural state. It's the system. It's a system we're actively participating in when we defend our space, occupy as much of it as possible with our bags, and complain at the noises made by the smiling baby sitting in a lap next to us.

Air travel doesn't always make people assholes. It often makes us kin. A couple of weeks ago when everyone headed south got rebooked onto the same 5 early morning flights, we got an entire group going to figure out how the airline's process was meant to work, and to inform other passengers (yeah, I got picked for recon; that was pretty fun) so no one got stuck in the wrong line.

Both, though, are part of the same thing: it's a lousy system built on crappy processes. No one ought to have to struggle to find the right line. No one ought to wonder whether some policy will be applied to them or not [Er, not to mention that fatness ought not be a thing one can be shamed for, period. It should be a difference we all just accommodate because we're people, and people are good.].
keryx: (kills fascists)
Hey there, Brazil. What's up?

Really? Arty semi-erotic video campaigns about beauty and size acceptance? You don't say! [Readers, it may not pass your personal test of what counts for pornography, but it's definitely NOT work safe.]

Brazil, you know the reason we haven't spoken is that I've come to associate you with some of the most ridiculously over the top anti-fat advertising shenanigans. Perhaps I was too hasty.
keryx: (kills fascists)
One of the reasons I don't watch much television is that teevee is the second worst (after, I think, magazines) medium when it comes to misrepresenting The Fat. Today I'm thinking of the stereotype that fat people are these giant emotional eaters.

Well. Duh. EVERYONE eats emotionally, because food contributes to our emotional state. That is how food works.

I'm thinking about this particularly because I am struggling to eat this week. Things keep looking and smelling good but tasting metallic or dusty or tasteless. Ever had a metal-flavored tomato? It's enough to put me off eating for another several hours. I'm generally eating once a day when I get so hungry that food starts to taste like food again. I tried forcing a more level approach, but that just made me not want to eat at all, so - I'm just going with it - eating the most delicious and nutritiously full thing I can find, once a day. Or a cheeseburger [Yes. Even though I am back to being vegetarian.], if that's all I can stomach. It's a post-trauma thing, and it will gradually go away.

My point is: that is a form of emotional eating. I am a giant fatty, and when I'm emo, I don't eat. People do all kinds of different things with food, and emotional "overeating" isn't the exclusive province of fat folk. Hmph.
keryx: (line weight)
I went to the gym on Monday night last week, right after work.

Under normal circumstances, I don't like a crowded gym. Feels rushed and out of control. Monday is always a popular night, but it's also one of few days I'm available in any given week. So, you know. I soldier on.

This past week was traumatizing. First week I'd been on Monday since early January. Resolutionists! Everywhere! I'm not offended by their presence or their noobness, but gah. What the women are there for (I have no idea about the men, as most conversation takes place in the locker room). Lots of self-hate. Lots of self-weighing. Bitter laughs when the fat chick in the room tries to offer another perspective on their "oh I'm disgusting" commentary.

I will not be going back to the gym on Monday night for awhile. Even if the current crowd stays away from weights (gah, you might like GAIN A POUND OF MUSCLE) and opts exclusively for treadmills. Hearing people talk about themselves like that makes me want to cry.

On the up side, I've discovered that older folk, tattooed freaky people and weight training enthusiasts tend to hang at the gym Friday-Sunday. Which makes me a weekend gym convert, apparently. Heh. That's probably how all of those folk ended up there on the weekend.
keryx: (line weight)
I think I told you kids about losing 5 lbs in California, yes? They're probably around the pool at that place in Calistoga. If anyone finds them, you're welcome to keep them. Apparently those were the 5 pounds that stood between me and delicious contentment in my body.

I don't mean that I hopped on a scale and thought AH! At last I weigh 210! Now I can be happy! but that I kept looking in mirrors and thinking something looked different that I liked. And then I discovered that I weighed very slightly less. I think it's the weight range that my body maintains when I'm moving, cooking and happy. So part of what I'm happy with in the mirror is just seeing happiness. But. I do think part of it is appearance, which while not explicitly about weight is certainly connected.

Hmm. This makes me empathise a bit better with people like my mom. You know. The ones who always have 5 lbs they want to lose.

How about you?
keryx: (line weight)
You should read this.
Step 7: Buy a pet. Having a pet will force you to take walks, which are a form of exercise. This is true unless you make the mistake that I made, which was buying an iguana. Iguanas walk very slowly and smell strongly of turds. I really cannot dissuade you strongly enough from buying an iguana.

Good things to consider a couple of days before many people (including you & me, perhaps?) go all weird with their annual self-recrimination.
keryx: (burden being right)
This conversation I've been having with [ profile] dreamalynn about fashion and zombies gave me an idea. Let's all dress up to highlight our so-called "worst" features!

Like, how can I show off my double chin? Or my flappy upper arms? What could I wear to accentuate a nice muffin top AND some sassy "cankles"? Cause the rules that say these things are unhot are just arbitrary rules.

keryx: (cure)
It turns out that even the great community Fatshionista has a secret number in its head. You know what I mean? Many people have 200 lbs in their heads as the number at which someone is about to DROP DEAD FROM TEH FATS OH NOES. Members of that community seem to stop at 500 lbs - which is, admittedly, rather large.

Over time I've amended my belief that what immobilizes fat and supersize folk who complain about quality of life is not their fat per se but the fact that they haven't continued to move their fat bodies around. Now I think what immobilizes them is a culture - including themselves - that makes it impossible to visualize a happy, contented, supersize person who is reasonably healthy (or at least, no worse off than an average person). So, you know what, if you are so sure for you personally that you can't be healthy without that weight? Try to lose the weight. I hope along the way you pick up habits that make you feel better.

Just. Please please please don't presume you can pick a number and declare that people who weigh more than that are at death's door. We're all limited by our experience and our paradigm. I remember 160 lbs or so making my quality of life suck, but 200+ (yes, the magic number! OMG!) is apparently just fine. My perspective's shifted quite a bit in those 10 years.

The magic number is always just a bit further than the fattest weight we can imagine for ourselves, but that magic, unliveable number is likely a size at which someone else lives just fine. So stop imagining. There, problem solved.
keryx: (kills fascists)
Omigod, you guys! I have the answer! Fat people just SIT DOWN TOO MUCH!

If only I could find a way to work Brazil into this.
keryx: (cure)
But I'm going to try to find some anyhow.

In Alabama, fat state employees will have to pay more for their health insurance if they don't try to lose weight. This is not if they are actually more actively using said health insurance. It apparently applies whether you have any health issues or not, as long as you're fat.

Wait, there are words: FUCKED UP. I do not, in my communistic soul, believe that it's okay to charge people more for health insurance if they're sick or use the privilege more than other people. Health insurance is supposed to be there if you need it. I almost never need it, but I would like to know that I can get sick and have already paid for my treatment cost with insurance premiums.

But even leaving aside that belief. WTF?! Let's say you think insurance cost should be related to how much you use or will use it. Why add being fat to a list of things that are, in fact, actual health issues (high cholesterol, for instance)? I almost exclusively use medical treatment for preventative care, and have no major health problems aside from chronic allergies. If I worked for the state of Alabama and did not adopt a weight loss plan, I would suddenly be paying more for insurance than a thin sick person. This is just irrational. It makes simply being fat an "illness" while simultaneously assuming it's reversible long-term.
keryx: (line weight)
It's not easy being a political hardass sometimes.

Did I tell you about my colleagues' shenanigans with their weight/fat loss pool? It's like a football pool, but they're weighing and fat-measuring themselves. As you can imagine, my initial reaction was OH $DEITY NO GET THAT AWAY FROM ME, and it's morphed into WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT IT ALREADY? as time has worn on. They're using the "I'm doing it for myself" argument. Also, the "but I'm a feminist!" argument (which totally makes everything okay, cause it's all about CHOICE, you know). And the "argh my clothes don't fit and I desperately hate shopping" argument. So, okay. That is at least practical. I mean, I don't like losing weight for the same reason. I'm still bitter about the gorgeous party dresses that couldn't be taken in.

It's hard to be uber committed to my point of view on this one, though. I mean. The email they sent introducing this craziness let you vote "yes", "no" or "I find this completely offensive". Many of them are also discovering the magic of the gym, too, so I have people to bond with over that.

So. I find myself surprisingly not bothered by other people's weightloss talk all of a sudden. WTF?!
keryx: (finger licking good)
I had no idea. Going to the gym? Is RIOTOUSLY FUN.

I've been going once or twice a week for... just under a month, I guess. The classes are greatly entertaining - I've been going to yoga, a yoga-pilates-fusion thing, and one with silly pop music and barbells, and they change routines pretty much every time I go, so it's a tiny little surprise for my whole body. Sometimes my fun friends are there, too! The trainer recommended to me by that dude I gave such a hard time? Is not only not a narrow-minded dumbass but is amusing and fairly insightful for a 12 year old (and has pretty eyes). He's no my-old-coach, but he'll do.

I declare the gym a success. Yay, gym!

In other news: I forgot how in all Jane Austen's books "you're looking fatter" is a total compliment about how you're not miserable and depressed anymore. Yay, 19th century!
keryx: (finger licking good)
There's a cute post on Shapely Prose that uses the 'get a bikini bod in 2.5 minutes' articles in most magazines to talk about getting comfortable in a bathing suit.

Which reminds me of a question I had awhile back!
[Poll #1191050]
I personally think I look better not-quite-naked, or sometimes in dance costume. Clothes never quite feel designed for the shape of my body.
keryx: (Default)
Guess what I did last night?

No, really. Guess!

You didn't guess "joined a gym", did you? Because if you know me at all, you know of my passionate hate for the gym mindset. The pain = gain. The appearance = health. All the wildly simplified equations and just the general unpleasantness of the places. Ick.

Anyhow. I joined a gym. My trainer has disappeared off the face of the earth, and I need program design help to figure out some of the dance-prep strengthening I want to do. So when [ profile] arovd suggested that we practice together in her gym's (fantastic slippy-floored, mirrored, nicely lit) space... eh, okay.

The environment is... not as bad as I expected. There was one poster that bothered me enough I. Um. Sorta hid it. It was a small act of subversion. We went to a yogaish workout class that I enjoyed, and the space really is fantastic. The people there were reasonably diverse. The guy who showed me around was remarkably tolerant of my continuous ripping on his profession. We'll see if the trainer recommendation he made pans out.

There are a LOT of treadmills. That? Is creepy.
keryx: (fat chicks)
I don't know what it says about me that my first response to this post about some over-the-top gym in Denver's godawful advertising [The ad shows a fat woman talking to her friend about only having beer in the house - cause she can lure men there with it, and if they still reject her, she can drown her sorrows. It's pretty damned offensive, both politically (between actually throwing pies at fatties, the implication of coercive sex, and the stereotype... sheesh) and artistically (more poorly acted and filmed than an infomercial).] is to wish that I had a silkscreener. *

Because I? Now want a t-shirt that says "I have BEER!" even though I'd probably end up punching a LOT of people every time I wore it. [ETA: But you know? I haven't been getting much punching practice in. It could entertain my mind AND my body. Hmm...]

I wonder how many straight guys are convinced they won't sleep with a fat woman? I imagine it's quite a few - I remember from dating websites that almost no guy ever checks the box equivalent to "giant fatty" when they're listing the body types they'll accept in a date. Almost no guy INCLUDING the guys who've hit on me, I might add. It's that same thing with calling yourself fat; for a lot of people, it means something more like "ugly and bad". Those are the same guys who think I weigh 110. I've been thinking about this lately because I'm lonely. And being lonely reminds me that fat is supposed to be something people aren't attracted to, that I am fat, and that people are attracted to me. Three things that don't logically add up. That makes me sad, people. The failure of things to make sense depresses me.

I had a point beyond just saying again that our cultural attitude about fat fucks with people's heads. And the obvious rant that this notion about fat is present in so much asshattery. Gah. I mean, really? The PIE in the face thing? Why does anyone tolerate that way of thinking about themselves? Why would a fat woman be in that ad? Why would ANYONE go to that gym?

* I'm afraid that what this says about me is that [ profile] chubbyninja has finally rubbed off on me.
keryx: (glowy ball)
I am, sometimes, more like a character in a chick-lit novel that I'd care to admit. Because, as [ profile] cutegaychick said yesterday, my crises?* Are really amusing.

I told you all about the video camera, right? That my dad gave me one for xmas? Well, in addition to recording video of my family and friends for some future date of schmoopiness, I caught some footage of me walking from behind (footage courtesy of mom). And I really didn't like the view of my ass from behind. NOT BECAUSE I AM A GIANT FATTY. I mean, yes, I am a giant fatty [I am SO going to go rename the "fat" tag "giant fatty" when this post is done.]. And, okay, maybe right after coming home from being mommed, I might have been thinking just possibly that being a giant fatty was a Very Bad Thing. HOWEVER, the problem was not the size of my ass but the aesthetic displeasure I experienced watching it move.

So I wondered if my problem could be the non-turned-out walk I trained for a couple of years ago. I used to walk, and stand, and probably sleep, with a distinct turnout (at the hips, like everyone learns in ballet class). It's not good for speed, and it's theoretically not good for my hips (although I think the new walk may have unintentionally contributed to calf and foot issues). But it is, I think, more pleasing to look at. I know because I? Did SEVERAL video takes this morning of different walks, arm and head positions. From multiple angles! I'd show you the videos, but on this point, dearest, loveliest LJ, you do not get a vote.

I wasn't just looking for something I found more attractive (though that was without a doubt the main catalyst), but also checking out this thing with my head. Around the same time as the walk retraining thing, I discovered that I'd been sticking my chin & head out and up for ages, and have since been correcting by constantly tilting my head down. Over time, though, I'd learned to keep my head in a perfectly fine neutral position, and when I installed more mirrors in my bedroom [for DANCING, kids. Don't get all excited.], I could see that I actually look down when I mean to have my head neutral. I've overcorrected. I've also been doing something weird and awkward with my arms. And all this fantastic body knowledge thanks to what could've been one of those old-school "OMG I am so FAT, I need a DIET" episodes.

My crises?* Are AWESOME.

* This is not, in fact, an example of a crisis in the sense of a Great Big Problem; it's just a thing I thought a lot about.
keryx: (kills fascists)
And, also, just, from me, a wish to treat yourselves and your bodies with tender, attentive, active appreciation. It doesn't matter if your choices are different from mine, I'm wishing that for you. (from [ profile] susanstinson, here)

I got mommed when I went home for the holiday. I don't mean that my mother pushes her perspective or agenda on me in any way, but simply by being my mother her stuff with her body reflects back at me & almost always gets me questioning myself. And rarely in a good way.
keryx: (fat chicks)
The same week that the BBC was publishing studies about how DANGEROUSLY SHORT we're getting, Reuters also covered the BMI project we were talking about a couple of weeks ago. It's not just coming out and saying "BMI is stupid", but it's pretty close, and pretty national. So, yay.
keryx: (line weight)
Shapely Prose links to an article about the HEALTH DANGERS OF SHORTNESS.

I'd say something else, but between Kate and the effing BBC, it appears to have already been said.

September 2016

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